So - this is a little something different! Make sure you read ALL THE WAY thru for some amazing blogs and prizes! YES! Prizes!
I know, right? What a guy!
And I left him again.
And that's what I did that scared me.
We were really, really happy. We'd been together longer than any two of my previous marriages combined. It was all sooooo good. And I was offered a job all the way across the country. Like, move from right coast to left coast across the country.
I had made a point of telling The Man Behind The Curtain that I was going back to California someday. My entire family was there, including my son who had just left the military. And the job was in San Diego. SAN DIEGO!!!
It was an amazing opportunity; I was being given the chance to be the Quality Manager at a major shipyard. I was being given the chance to be the FIRST woman Quality Manager of a shipyard that anyone had ever known. Me! Little Ol' Me! But there was a catch (isn't there always): My company was sending me six months on temp assignment, and if it didn't work out, they would "find something for me to work on." This meant no relocation expenses and no guarantees. Pretty scary, right?
No, that was not the scariest part.
See, The Man Behind The Curtain was all for me taking the chance. He was all about me taking advantage of this opportunity, even though there was no safety net. And folks, we didn't exactly have any other kind of safety net, financial or otherwise. And he told me (prepare to mist) that he had his career, it was my turn. Really. He said that.
So, we loaded up the Honda and drove across the country. We enjoyed the drive. We enjoyed spending time together. We enjoyed the three days in California together before he had to fly back. To our house. Our dog. Our friends. His job - which had no possibility of transferring.
And the hardest thing? The thing that scared me the most? Leaving him at the airport for his flight back to Virginia. See, that was the point, the exact moment in time when I realized I was leaving the one thing I never wanted to leave: Him.
I was good at leaving. I was a professional, actually. Like the main character in my first novel, I was the one who always left when things got too difficult, too complicated or too painful. But this time, this time I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to run away and end things. And I was terrified that I had just screwed up the best thing that had ever happened to me. I was so scared and so upset, I had to pull over on the side of the freeway and bang my hands on the steering wheel and cry. Really cry. I don't cry, folks. But I did then.
It was awful. The job was more challenging than I ever imagined. I was working crazy mad hours, not sleeping well, not eating well, not taking care of myself. But everyday, at the same time, I would get these amazing phone calls, and I would be reminded that I could do this. I could live three-thousand miles away from the only person I ever really wanted in my life. I could do the job no one else wanted and I could make a difference in a company that almost shut down because of Quality and I could come out the other end a better person. Because he believed in me. And in us.
And now, seven years later, here we are. We made it. I made it, because I took a chance on the thing that scared me the most - commitment. Commitment to him, no matter how far apart we were. Commitment to his belief in me. Commitment to being the person he saw in me.
And you know what's really cool? I mean, besides the fact that he still cooks dinner and is still a hunk? He believes in my writing, in this whole "book" thing I'm trying to do. He even shushes me and sends me up to the computer to write. And you know what? I'm not scared anymore!
Here's more about Mila's amazing new book, "SPIRAL"
Now - check out the other bloggers revelations of things they were a'scared of, as well as a chance to win a $50 gift card, copies of Mila's new book and some sweet swag!!!a Rafflecopter giveaway