Mornings - FAAAAAAACK!

Yaaaa -eeeaaaaawnnnn.

Have I told you how much I dislike mornings? I would say "hate," but being a hater is on my list of things deemed socially unacceptable. Yes, I have a list. My husband updates it for me on a regular basis. I'm not the most socially adept person out there. Guess that's why I write.

So, mornings - yeah. One of the reasons I don't hate them is 'cuz I figure any day on the right side of the grass is a good day. One of the reasons I do hate them is 'cuz it takes me about 3 cups of coffee before I'm sure I won't bite the heads of small dogs and children.

I am the definition of "Not A Morning Person."

Well, except for one particular activity - which I have to say is always best in the morning.  But don't make any mistakes; this is NOT me int he morning (or anytime, for that matter):

If you've been reading along, which I KNOW you have because you love me and find me totally awesome in all my drunken drivel, then you know I was supposed to start driving in to work even earlier then the totally FAAAACKING insane hour my job requires. 

I was going to go straight to work, thereby avoiding all the traffic in the morning and go for a run. We have showers at work. We have coffee at work (if you want to call it that). We have no traffic at 0400 in the morning at work. 

Right? What the hell was I thinking? I haven't made it yet. I tried, but my ass was so firmly glued in bed all week, it was NOT happening. I'm sure it was pretty funny to watch as I shoved my work out clothes on to the closet floor and hit the snooze button. Several times. Because...

FAAAAACK. Oh, said that already. Sorry - still on that first cup of coffee.

I do actually plan on trying again this coming week. Hopefully things will fare better and I have a little less stress on the writing front. Speaking of which, here's where things stand:

First Book - received four pages (in minus 16 font) of questions, comments and revisions from an esteemed colleague that I am trying to incorporate. I'm about a third of the way through on that.

Second Book - thanks to the considerable effort and talents of CP, book 2 has been sent to the industry professional who requested it. Cross your fingers!

Short Story 1 - no takers yet. I have three more submissions pending and if they don't pick it up, I will *as promised* publish here.

Short Story 2 - yes, there is a short story 2. I just wrote it the other day. Needs some polish - and I'm sending it to CP so she can rip it to shreds (she's good at that, she's like a Komodo dragon on word steroids or something), then I'll shop it around.

I have a third story I'm dying to get to - got a few pages down so I can keep the *feels* before I get the chance to work on it. It's going to be fun, too - a real ball-busting riot, so I can't wait to go to work. I'll probably play with it later on today. After I've had more coffee. And some Scotch. 

Meanwhile, The Terrorist is growling and fanning me with his tail, which means he either needs coffee or a walk. So, that's it for now.

Oh, except for Saturday Faves! Happy day - I'm going to hook up the caffeine I.V.!!!

Because I woke up feeling good...

It's Father's Day -

I miss my dad. He's been gone 21 years now and I still miss him; in those small parts of me that I don't have to feel or use everyday.

But that's okay, because I know he's never really gone, as long as I think of him.

And I woke up feeling really good this morning - after the sinus head-ache went away and I had three cups of coffee in me.

And The Man Behind The Curtain took The Terrorist on a walk, letting me sit around longer in my nightgown and play on the computer.

I wished him a happy Father's Day, too. Even though he's not the father of my child, he's a great father to all three of our kids, a terrific Papa to our twin grand-babies and, of course, to our kid-with-fur (aka The Terrorist).

My friend, Mark, over at markkoopmans.blogspot.com did a nice Father's Day tribute that everyone should see. Mark's a great dad as well - you can tell by the way he writes about it.

So, here's to Sundays Feeling Good, Father's Day and Fathers-at-large, and to my Dad. Cuz I love him. And Michael B ain't too bad either!

Surprising success and an early "S" post

Okay, I'm not really known for my humility. Not that I'm egocentric or vain, but I'm definitely confident and assertive. With that said, I must admit to being pleasantly surprised at being nominated by TWO fellow bloggers and writers for the Liebster Blog Award! Yay! I'm especially thrilled because I've only been at this for a little over a month.


I have been nominated by both MadelineAnn of "Reincarnated as a Writer" and Bridgina Molloy of "The Wicked Writer" - many thanks to both of you!



The Liebster Award is passed around from one blog to another, with the following rules:

• I have to give 11 random facts about me
• I have to answer the 11 questions the presenter of the award has asked
• I have to nominate 11 new bloggers to receive the award, they must have fewer than 200 followers
• I have to ask my nominees 11 new questions of my own

So, 11 facts about me:

1. I believe coffee, scotch, chocolate and popcorn constitute a well rounded diet.
2. I knew how to fly a small plane before I knew how to drive.
3. Tall, dark and built with a scottish accent will get me to do almost anything. 
4. Although a native Californian, people think I'm from Canada All. The. Time. Something with my "o's" being too round. 
5. I've been married more times than I'd like to admit. 
6. I ran my first half marathon at the age of - OLD.
7. I'm a sucker for anything small and furry with big eyes - including the odd child.
8. I was the first female Quality Manager of a major shipyard - ANYWHERE
9. I really don't have a filter between my brain and my mouth - ask my husband, mother, child and boss.
10. I returned to writing fiction after a 20+ year absence and am finding reasonable success. 
11. I've been accused of being fearless, but I do have a few fears: being on a precipice, the dark and cockroaches. Especially cockroaches. And Janet Reid.

MadelineAnn's questions:

1. How much do you like your steak cooked? Uh, dead?
2. Tea, coffee or something else? Oh, please - you know the answer to this: Coffee, with scotch. Often.
3. How much was your first pay -packet for, and what was the job? Gawd! Okay, I think around $30 - delivering pizza. I got fired immediately. It's hard to deliver hot pizza when you don't know your way around town. 
4. Favourite film, and why? Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure - I swear, all they did was film me and my friends while we were in High School - and Hello? Keanu Reeves much?
5. How long does it take you to read an average length novel? This is almost embarrassing - around 2 days. 
6. Was your school co-educational or single sex, and do you think that was the better option? Oh, definitely co-ed. We all had sex more than a single time - wait - did I misinterpret?
7. Which emotion do you feel the most easily/most often? Do you enjoy it? Wow - tough one...I'm pretty happy and upbeat, though come across as cynical. I'll go with happy. 
8. Has anything out-of-the-ordinary wonderful ever happened to you? Can you tell us about it? More than I can say - but most people wouldn't believe me if I told them. And I'd have to kill you, what with working for the government and all.
9. Left or right handed? I'm so right-handed, I can't even brush my hair with my left. 
10. What's your favourite kind of holiday? Anything with a beach, warm weather, water and Cabana Boys bearing endless adult beverages. Or is that an endless bearing of Adult Cabana Boys?
11. Do you have a pet, what is it, or if not, why not? Hmm, I'm guessing you mean of the four-legged kind? Yes - Charlie. My Terra-shit. Read my post "Meet Charlie - a Terrorist". He's also the fuzz face mascot on this site. But I do love me some two legged pet as well!

Bridgina's Questions:

1. If there was any one point in history you would like to visit, where and what would it be? Tell us why in a couple of sentences. My thirties - most historical times really suck for women. I like my own "when" and can't imagine me surviving very long in a previous time (that whole "no filter" thing would have been a real problem in, say, the inquisition).
2. Tell us the name of someone that has inspired you in your life or craft, living or dead and in a couple of sentences explain why? Oh, wow - my husband. Really - not being "sweet" - it's not in my nature. He always said I should write a book, always loved my writing and encourages me. I couldn't do it without him. In fact, I couldn't do much of anything without him. He's my glue.
3. What is your most favourite item of clothing? Why (in a couple of sentences)? Yoga pants. They're comfortable. They look reasonably good. They go everywhere. They don't show sweat/coffee/chocolate or scotch stains. They hold the jiggly parts in.
4. Where is your favourite place to write (sofa, bed, bath, desk, library, cafe...etc.,)? My office at home - with music blaring, window open and Charlie at my feet.
5. Are you a morning person or a night person? I am soooo NOT a morning person! But, my job requires me to be up at 0330 (GAWD, right?) - so for this part of my life I guess I'm neither!
6. Has your life turned out the way you had imagined it would as a child? Um, I don't think I really thought about it then.
7. How do you stay motivated when writing your blog/novel/short story/article/poetry etc.? Music, laughter and scotch.
8. Are you a planner or a seat of the pants(er)? Definitely a pantster.
9. What was the first music record/tape/cd you bought? Rod Stewart - I forget the album.
10. What is your favourite Genre to write and read? Why (in a couple of Sentences)?  I don't really have a favorite...I guess I lean more towards fiction with some romantic element, though not definitively romance.
11. What is your pet Peeve? Stupid people. We all have brains, but few of us use them.

Now, for my nominees: Um - this is hard!

1. Susan Adrian at Susan Adrian - she's just too damned funny, especially on Twitter!
2. Susan Scott of Garden of Eden - amazing new friend who has an absolutely ethereal way with words.
3. L.G. Keitner of Warped Nerdversity - Okay, beside the cool blog name, she has trippy stuff to play with on her blog!
4. Sporkchop at ROFL Initiative - He (?) just makes me roll on the floor (and LMFAO)!
5. Burkester at Seethethingaboutthatis - Really - you have to ask? She has bright, shiny THINGS and I, oh - grab. Missed, grab again - where was I?
6. Kristina Pinto at Mother Running Rampant - Okay - I've been known to run. I've been known to cuss. I've been known to do many things Kristina does, just not as well as her. I have a feeling she may not qualify, as I'm sure she has more than 200 followers, but still...
7. My friend and CP, CP! at n00bishdelight - she's cool. I like that.
8. Rhondi at Ya Gotta Laugh About It - I swear, she must be my brotha from anotha motha! Except we're both girls. Still, you get the point.
9. Lisa Zadok at Whatthefeminist - if I have to explain, you clearly have never met me or read my blog.
10. Networked Twins at This May Cost Me an Appliance - okay, the name intrigued me, the snark made me a fan.
11. Ummm - honestly, can't find another one. See, I have this problem - I think most people are too pompous and full of shit to write a truly amusing blog. I struggled to find these 10 - and I'm sure there are 10 more out there, let alone 1. But, I almost puked at the sweet, kind, flower and butterfly laden sites I found, so - there ya go.

Now, for MY Questions (Bwa-ha-ha!)

1. How old would you be if you could pick any age? Why?
2. When you close your eyes, do you look like the person you see in the mirror or someone else? Who?
3. Describe yourself with four words that begin with the same letter. Why did you pick that letter?
4. What book has had the greatest impact on you/your life and why?
5. What makes you laugh-out-loud-snort-coffee-out-your-nose?
6. What makes you squirm with embarrassment?
7. (a) Girls: Christian Bale or Hugh Jackman and why? (b) Boys: Halle Berry or Jessica Alba and why?
8. All - Bad boy/girl with a heart of gold or Good boy/girl with a wicked streak?
9. Tattoos? What and where? 
10. Best, last drunk?
11. If it were up to you, the Wicked Smaht award would go to? 

Gee, that was fun! Next Sunday I'll answer my own questions - Batter up!

Meet Charlie - a Terrorist

A terrorist hides amongst us.

He is cunning and sly, well camouflaged and deceivingly small.

He has beautiful brown eyes, black and white hair and a tail that curls over his back, beckoning you to follow.

He is evil, and his name is Charlie.

Charlie seeks to hamper the U.S. Government's ongoing war by limiting my sleep. He sneaks into my bed in the morning, pawing and wriggling until he lays beside my legs, warm and content in the early morning hours.

When I have succumbed again to his charms and the warmth of his body pressed against mine, he disturbs my dreams, bringing me to wakefulness by licking my fingers and nibbling on my ear. He is a master at seduction of the most effective sort.

When sleep is no longer possible, yet before I leave the comfort of my bed, he bounces with unbound energy and determination, certain victory is near at hand. Most often, he secures his prize by bouncing heavily on my too-full bladder, ensuring a rapid chase to the bathroom before winning his freedom out the back door.

Ah - but this does not suffice. Mere moments of freedom in a dew-chased lawn does not complete his ultimate mission - The Walk.

For Charlie loves to walk as fish love to swim: it is vital to his very existence.

Impatiently he waits, pacing along the floor, jumping onto the couch beside me, stepping his little paws along the length of my thigh as I struggle to sip my coffee. Just one cup of coffee. Just one, please?

But no, the torture continues. Yips and pirouettes, jumps and leaps increase in volume and magnitude until, weakening under the constant onslaught, I break. With a sigh and a sad glance at my still full mug, I trudge forward, changing and dressing, pulling my hair into a pony-tail, tying my shoes and, if I'm lucky, brushing my teeth before we slip out the door for an hour of sniffing, peeing, pooping and rambling. Enough to appease his sense of purpose. For now.

Tomorrow brings another chance for covert operations and subtle, distracting tactics.