Okay. I HATE editing. Really. It makes me feel like this:
Don't get me wrong; I do edit. I just don't LIKE doing it. When I write, it's verbal vomit. It all comes out in a rush (or several periods of rushing) and I just go with it. I don't worry about grammar or punctuation or spelling. I let the story and the character and everything else flow out; all the emotion and the world building and the vision exiting my finger tips and magically appearing in black and white on the screen in front of me.
I run spell check. I even run the grammar check tool. But at some point, I have to break out the red pen and read the damn thing. And I still don't mind that part. I do like reading what I wrote. Sometimes I laugh. Sometimes I cringe. Sometimes I even wipe tears from my eyes. It's the pen, and the marks on the paper and the notes asking myself why I wrote something or marking where I need to add more. It's the time that I have to put into the process that I resent. Time taking me away from the creative element, from crafting new stories and tales. That's the part I really hate about editing and revising.
I want it perfect the first time, every time. Like this:
But more often it's like this:
So what's a writer to do? Well, there aren't that many options. Oh, sure, if I had the bucks, I could hire an editor. But I don't. I could subject my Critique Partners to my first drafts. But that's a good way to lose CP's quickly. I could write slower or more carefully or with less Scotch. Naw. We all know THAT'S not going to happen!
So, I'm stuck. And I'm revising. And editing. And learning to appreciate it as part of the overall process. To see it as "IMPROVING" instead of tedious, time-consuming, brain-draining necessity.
And hopefully, in the end, I'll end up here:
But until then, I hate it. Really. And I put it off as long as I can. And even when I do it, I miss stuff. Even when I revise, I feel like it could be better. Or I shouldn't have cut/changed/added what I cut/changed/added. Or like I'm never going to get it done. Get it good enough. Get it out "there." After all - I'm one of them, one of you, one of us. I am, truly, an insecure writer.
Guess I'm in the write place.